Moving: One of Life’s Big Stressors
I moved states at the beginning of this year, at almost three years sober I was leaving the town I got sober in, the town where my support was, and the town that I felt comfortable in. One thing about my alcoholism is that it hates change; the disruption of my “comfortable” life was not welcomed. Although I knew that I was overly comfortable where I was living and that it most likely meant I was ready to start a life elsewhere, the process of this was terrifying.
The actual move was scary. The weather was uncooperative and I cried most of the trip. I was horrified about all the change that was happening around me. This was the beginning of how I would feel for the next few weeks. Moving into our apartment was physically and mentally challenging. All of our worldly possessions were carried into our new apartment, those belongings stayed where they initially were placed for what seemed like forever as I fell into a depression.
This went on for weeks. I grew more miserable and resentful, particularly at those closest to me. It was easy to blame my feelings on those around me and for weeks I continued to fight to change everyone and everything around me to make my depression disappear. I didn’t want to drink but I knew I was headed in that direction; I went to maybe one or two meetings in a two-month period. I pushed my friends away and isolated myself from everything.
I got a job during this time, which seemed to help for maybe a week or so. I did none of the things I said I’d do to connect myself here in Colorado. I was living in so much fear. Everything changed when my best friend came to visit me. As soon as she saw me she knew what was going on and was alarmed at the number of meetings I had attended since I moved. She knows me better than I know myself and has seen me at my worst and best, which allowed her to share her concerns without too much backlash from me. They were the same concerns I had heard from my boyfriend and anyone else I was honest with but for some reason this time I heard
Rebuilding My Support System
The following night we went to a meeting together and I asked a woman to be my sponsor. She wanted me to call women in AA I didn’t know, go to a meeting and call her everyday for 30 days. I immediately thought there was no way I would do any of this. I decided to mull it over a bit. I realized pretty quickly that her suggestions would only help and the security that I once had from AA was still there; there was no doubt that I needed help.
I jumped back into the program with complete willingness and I have never really looked back. I immediately felt relief and realized once again that AA is what I need; it is my treatment. I am so grateful for the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and for my God for giving me the opportunity to get back to where I belong.
The solution to my emotional and spiritual pain has always resided in the same place, Alcoholics Anonymous.