To many people, alcohol is a fantastic socializing drink that can reduce your anxieties and let you have fun. But when does the after-work drink become a desperate escape? Is alcohol ruining my relationship? It is a difficult question to face. If you’re experiencing personal relationship issues and believe it to be a direct result of alcohol consumption, finding help is critical.
We often don’t realize that our drinking habits have become too prominent in our lives until someone close to us becomes frustrated. How many evenings have we spent away from home? How much money could we have saved for a trip? How much time have we wasted laying in bed all day, nursing a hangover?
When you are in a relationship, it is more than just your life that you are wasting. How many evenings have they waited for you? How many times have they looked in your joint bank account and saw less money than expected? How many days have they wasted nursing your hangover?
To most of us, it is our partners who have to clean up the mess that our drunken night brings. But are your habits even that bad? Everyone drinks a couple of nights a week, right?
The fact that you’re asking these questions means you know that something isn’t right. But there is always someone who can help.
Beginning Signs of Alcohol Abuse
It can be hard to pinpoint when your relationship with alcohol turned from a casual activity to possible addiction.
If you are worried that you are treading the line, ask yourself these questions:
- Has your drinking volume increased?
- Is drinking one of your main activities, and do you spend a lot of time dealing with the side effects of alcohol?
- Do you find yourself thinking that you could “really do with a drink”?
- Have you put off an important task to have another glass?
- Do you continue to drink even though it has caused a problem with your friends or family?
- Have you drank in a dangerous situation, like swimming, driving, using machinery, or engaging in sexual behavior on more than one occasion?
- Do you continue to drink even though it’s making you feel depressed or anxious?
- Have you ever lost memories while drinking or blacked out the day?
- Do you feel shaky after not drinking for a while, have trouble sleeping, become restless, feel unwell, feel low, or start sweating? This is a sign of withdrawal.
- Have you realized that your average drinking amount no longer gives you the desired effect?
- Do you find that drinking or being sick after drinking affects your social or responsible life (like work or school)?
This list is from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, under “Alcohol-Related Disorders.”
If you said yes to two or three of these questions, you are starting a mild form of alcohol abuse. If you said yes to four or five of these questions, you are experiencing moderate alcohol abuse. If you said yes to six or more of these questions, you are experiencing severe alcohol abuse.
If you need help stopping this damaging behavior, call 720-650-8055 to talk to someone who can help you gain control of your life.
Emotional Struggles of Alcoholism: Alcohol is Ruining My Relationship
Overcoming alcoholism can be an emotional battle as well as a physical one. On the physical side, you will likely start to feel shaky and nauseous, which will be hard to heal from as your body starts developing insomnia. On top of that, you will likely begin to feel an emotional low.
At this point, a little sip of gin will seem like a not-so-harmful medicine. Battling this kind of temptation can be helped if you have a strong partner by your side, or a toxic one can hinder it. Before we start labeling anyone as toxic, it’s important to point out the struggles that alcoholism has on a relationship. In this situation, both partners tend to be the victim. One of the biggest emotional struggles comes from neglect.
Neglecting Important Duties
People who suffer from addiction often find themselves neglecting their important responsibilities. In a relationship, this could mean avoiding cleaning the house, forgetting to pick up children from school, having no energy to walk the dog, or putting off paying the bills.
As the substance abuse continues, the partner may resent picking up the extra work or refuse to take on the additional responsibilities. Either way, shared stress is then developed, reporting “elevated levels of depression, anxiety, and psychosomatic complaints.”
If the behavior continues, then your partner may decide to leave.
More information can be found in “The Role of the Family in Alcohol Use Disorder Recovery for Adults” research paper.
Strong Emotional Ties
If you manage to create open and honest communication with your partner without any judgment and with the aim of healing, you will regain trust and understanding.
Sometimes these simple disciplines are all it takes to take away the stress built up in your home.
If you want help rebuilding your relationship while in recovery, I suggest looking at our AspenRidge program, which focuses on the human connections that make our lives so valuable. Or you can call 855-281-5588 to talk to someone about the Family Rehab Program.
Maybe your struggle has nothing to do with lack of support but more to do with enabling behaviors. Codependent relationships are defined as someone “who has come to believe that supporting and even enabling addictive behaviors is the only way to maintain your acceptance, love, security, and approval.”
This means that they feel as if buying you alcohol or suggesting that you can have a drink now and then is okay, but in reality, it makes your recovery that much harder.
If this sounds familiar to you, we suggest looking at our Family Rehab Program to help you recover and help your partner find a new way to express their love for you.
AspenRidge REACH: Getting Help for Alcohol Abuse
Realizing that your relationships are being damaged due to your possible addiction is the first step to finding a solution and saving your connection. The second step is getting help—call 720-650-8055 to talk to someone about your possibilities in recovery. We also provide support to family members and loved ones through our online treatment option with AspenRidge REACH.
Connect with us directly for more information on our tailored programs for alcohol. It’s important to understand you are not alone.